


Crimson Peak - Death and rebirth

by littlemissdeath



Category: Crimson Peak (2015)
Genre: Abandonment, Alan hates thomas, Edith cares for Thomas, F/M, M/M, Medical Procedures, Piss, Poor Thomas, Post Movie, Thomas imprisoned, Thomas not killed by Lucile, Wetting
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-10
Updated: 2017-09-16
Packaged: 2018-05-12 23:46:13
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 3
Words: 15,917
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5686279
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/littlemissdeath/pseuds/littlemissdeath
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nearly dies at Lucile's hands but Edith comes back and finds him clinging on. He thinks he will die and asks her to promise him. He survives and she honours his name and does not blame him for his sister. Edith caring for Thomas.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. 1

"Don't come near me!" she screamed.

"McMichael is still alive!" he exclaimed.

Thomas ran up to Edith. Her hands were bloody and she was upset. She went to attack him and he grabbed her wrists.

"You lied to me!"

"I did." He acquiesced.

"You poisoned me!"

"I did."

"You told me you loved me!"

"I do!"

She stopped she could see it in his eyes. He let his grip go on her hands. She lowered her hands.

"Edith please, trust me one more time. I will get the papers back, I will finish this. You can leave if you want to, or wait for me." Thomas saw he had a chance to make this right. "I'm going to finish this." He smiled slightly and then ran off to find Lucile. He found the papers on the side table and quickly tossed them into the fire.

He stood watching them burn. He felt a weight lifted. He had broken the cycle. He needed to find her. He turned to hear her voice.

"You burnt them." Lucile uttered from the dark.

"And she will live. You are not to touch her."

"You're ordering me?" Lucile snarled.

"We can leave, think about it, start a new life."

"Where?" She slowly moved towards him and he took her hands in his.

"It doesn't matter, we can leave this place, let the Sharpe name die into the earth with this house. We can be free, we can all be together."

"All?" She did not want to share. He begged her with his eyes.

"You love her?"

"This day had to come. We have been dead for years."

"you promised." She cried.

"You and I in this rotting place. Look at what we have become!" He wanted them both. He knew if they were caught it would be bad for both of them. This was his dream, then she turned on him.

"You said.. You said you wouldn't fall in love with anyone else."

"Yes, but it happened." Thomas held her and went to embrace her. She was distraught. All her plans were unravelling.

"Ught!" Thomas stood in shock as she plunged the knife into his stomach. He glanced down then at her in disbelief. She then stabbed him again in the chest. He began to let the silent tears fall as his heart broke.

"Lucile?" he gripped his attacker in the hopes she would stop and see reason. Then she stabbed him in the face. He felt the knife go in. his vision blurred, he didn't know if it was from the tears. She stepped back and he slowly stumbled over to the chair where she earlier crafted her doom.

He gripped the knife in his face and groaned as he pulled it free. The blood mixed with his tears and trickled down his face. He looked to her in a mixer of disappointment and regret. The woman he loved had killed him. He then felt relief as he wouldn't want to be without her, nor die at the hands of another.

He slumped down in the chair and she realised what she had done. Killed her only alley. Her lover, her brother. She grabbed him and wailed as she dragged his body down to the floor.

Thomas did not move. He was not yet dead, but his unresponsiveness had sealed his fate. Lucile screamed and grabbed the knife and went off in pursuit of Edith.

The room fell silent. Then there was a gurgle and a cough as Thomas opened his eyes slightly. He looked up at the ceiling of the nursery. Such a familiar ceiling. He wanted to move. He needed to help Edith. But he was lost. He could feel the warmth of his blood as he held his hand on his side.

His blood moved slowly thankfully due to the cold. He cried as he couldn't believe she would ever hurt him. Was she that jealous? Thomas moaned as he felt himself become overwhelmed with pain. Both from his physical injuries and his emotional ones. He thought he should just give up. What hope was there for him? He was alone and scared. Someone had always cared for him. When he was hurt or sad, someone always comforted him.

Now they were all gone. He felt different warmth spread as he began to wet his pants. He rolled to his side and held himself in humiliation. He looked over and saw Lucile's scissors lying on the floor. He thought about cutting himself to bleed out quicker.

He managed to sit up slightly. He held her scissors with a shacking hand. He then heard a scream. It was Edith, she was still alive. He cut a part of the bed sheet. He pulled it slightly and tore it into a long strip.

He knew no one would want to save him now. He would have to help himself. He began to wrap the makeshift bandage around his waist tightly. It hurt and he winced in pain. He felt a bit better and tore another strip. He ran it diagonally over his chest to stop the other wound from bleeding too much.

He slumped down on the bed and wiped his tears. He knew he had to do something. He had to will himself to get up. He grabbed another rag and held it to his cheek. He slowly made his way out of the room to the lift. He gripped the railing as it rattled down. He saw the blood on the bars.

Thomas hoped he would get to Edith in time. He slowly walked from the scullery to the main hall. He was in pain but had to forget it. He held his side as he made his way out into the snow. He followed the footsteps in the red snow.

He moved towards his machine. He had to let her know he was here. He pushed the leaved and activated the controls. The engine chugged and began to move. The steam hissed and Thomas walked around the other side to see the two women in his life in a standoff.

He reached out and moved up behind Lucile. He dropped his hand and stood and stared at her. He had nothing to say. He had so much to say. She looked like she was going to apologies, but he began to feel it was now too late. Lucile turned and Edith struck her with the shovel.

She dropped it and slowly made her way over to him. She extended her arm and touched his injured cheek. He closed his eyes and leaned into her touch. She lowered her hand and he looked down at his sister and slowly knelt down beside her.

He hovered his hand over her, not wanting to touch her, but wanting to. He eventually stroked her hair and cried. He looked up at Edith and then slowly stood. He took Lucile's arm and began to drag her body back towards the house.

Edith stood shocked. He was badly injured. He struggled as he dragged her body through the red snow. Edith walked a few paces behind him. Alan appeared in the doorway of the mine. He watched as he saw Thomas drag her body. He looked behind him and saw Edith.

She was alive. Thomas sobbed as he couldn't move her anymore and he fell down in the snow. He sobbed as Edith moved towards him. She had not seen Alan yet. She crouched down near Thomas.

"I'm sorry Edith. I tried to get her to stop." He looked up at her and she saw the wound to his body and knew she had attacked him. "I just can't believe it." He looked back down at Lucile's disfigured body. "I thought she loved me." he sobbed then put his hand on her stomach then his head to her breast, hoping for life.

Edith was disgusted as she knew when he said loved, he meant what she caught them doing. But for some reason she couldn't help but feel sorry for him. he leaned over her face and held her cheeks.

"Lucile? Please wake up." He sobbed. His blood stained tears landed on her face and he shook his head. "I told her to stop, but she didn't listen. She stabbed me and tried to kill me."

"Edith?" Alan moved over to see her standing over Thomas. She looked up and limped towards Alan with her arms outstretched.

"Alan!" she fell into his arms.

"Come, Let's get away from here. First I will get you a coat." He began to lead her back to the house. She turned to see Thomas crying loudly as he knew he was now abandoned. "Come one Edith." He tugged her arm so she looked away. He draped the coat over her and they began to make their way in the snow.

"Alan, we can't leave him." She pulled away and turned to her illegitimate husband. Thomas looked up and felt he didn't deserve her pity.

"Edith, he is a monster and killed his own wives. Let the authorities deal with him."

"No." She snapped her arm from him. "You saw he was under her spell. He had no choice. He never killed those women, Lucile did." Edith tried to justify his actions. She looked over and Thomas had collapsed in the snow beside his sister's body.

"He is just as much a part of their murders as she was! He poisoned you!" Alan tried to explain.

"He changed, he didn't want to, he stood up to her and look what happened. She turned on him too." Edith rolled over Thomas and checked to see if he was still alive.

"It's too late. He may have tried to be good, but he still has to be punished. His sentence may be less as he tried to help in the end." Alan went over to her.

"Please, help him, you are a doctor. Didn't you take an oath?"

"I did." He sighed. She was right. If anything he should help him recover to face justice. Alan squatted down and checked his injuries. "He's lost a lot of blood. But the cold will help him till we get to hospital."

Alan looked around and found a low cart use for the coal. He wheeled it over and they propped Thomas up on it. Alan fastened a rope over his chest and tied him to the cart. They tipped it up and Edith held it steady while Alan moved Thomas' body up further. The then both began to drag the cart through the snow to the gates.

As they approached they saw the town's people coming to help. Edith turned to Alan.

"Please, don't tell them of what he did." She looked down at his body. "he has suffered enough."

"They may not agree." Alan cautioned her.

"Please Alan. He is a good person inside. I have seen it. He just had no one to ever show him." she placed her hand on Thomas' and squeezed. He softly squeezed back. Edith felt her chest tighten as she knew he was still there. "He has suffered for so long by her hands. He didn't know what true love was. Nor what was normal."

"Ok. But there will be a limit to my help."

The people got closer. Hey there! Are you ok!?" they shouted.

"We need help!" Alan called back. They got closer and the people saw the injuries.

The man from the trading post looked down at Thomas. "Sir Thomas! What happened? Where is Lady Sharpe?" Edith and Alan looked at each other then down at Thomas. Alan sighed.

"She is dead."

"What murderous person did this to her, to you?" the local police man asked.

"Lady Sharpe." Alan replied. "She pushed Edith down the stairs and broke her leg. I came to help her and she stabbed me when my back was turned." He then pursed his lips and shook his head in regret, but he did it for Edith. "And then she stabbed her brother for stepping in. We thought him dead."

"But how did she die?" The constable continued.

"I killed her." Edith stepped forward and they saw her white dress stained with blood. "She was forcing me to sign over my estate and I stabbed her with a pen then fled. She pursued me and came at me with the knife she killed her mother with, so I hit her with a shovel."

"She killed her mother?" one of the other towns people asked.

"Yes." Alan responded. "She was sent off to a sanatorium when she was 14, but no one knew of her crime nor convicted her of it." Alan handed the newspaper clipping to the police man.

The town's people helped the injured people into the carriage and rode fast towards town.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Alan lay still on the clean sheets of the hospital bed. He rolled over to see a heavily bandaged man beside him. his face was obscured by the bandages. Thomas' long dark curls hung over the bandages. He did not move. Alan sat up and held his side. He then remembered how Thomas stabbed him. he asked for a place to stab him so he could survive.

He held his side and kept looking down. "Alan, you're up." Edith rolled in with her foot in a cast. She was washed and in a thick gown.

"Edith." He climbed off the bed and went to her. he leaned in to kiss her and she shied away. "Edith?"

"I think I should refrain from any affection for the moment." She then gestured to the unconscious man. "Has he said anything?"

"He hasn't woken since I have been here. I don't think him to be conscious." Alan walked slowly over to his side and Edith sat beside the bed.

"Have the nurses come in?"

"No, but I have only been awake for a few hours." They looked at him intently. Thomas lay quietly. Edith stood, pushing down on the side of the bed. She moved closer to him.

"Thomas? Please wake up." She whispered. She squeezed his hand and his eyes opened slowly. He could only see her well through one eye. The other was partially obscured by the bandage on his face.

"Edith?" Thomas stared up at her and silent tears rolled down his face. "I think you should have left me to die."

"No. You deserve a chance." She smiled and then brushed his hair from his face.

"at what? I have lost my home, my family, my title, no. I should have died. It will be better than what awaits me in prison." He turned his head away and pulled his hand free of hers.

Alan placed his hands on Edith and directed her to leave him be. He helped her sit back down and he wheeled her out.

"Alan, we must tell him he is not going to go to prison."

"No. Let him think he is, and he may try to atone for his crimes. Not that it will ever be enough for the lives he took." Alan said coldly. "As soon as we are well enough to travel, we are heading back to Buffalo."

"Alan stop." She grabbed the wheels of her chair to brake. "not without him."

"He can stay here, I don't want him anywhere near you." Alan knelt down and looked her in the eyes. "Please, put him far from your mind." He took up her hand then kissed the back of it. "Make me your husband and share your life with me."

"I already have a husband." She pulled her hand away. "He is far from perfect, but I will honour my vows."

"What vows? He was already married, you are not his! You were never legally married!" Alan became determined to convince her he was the better choice.

"They mattered to me." Edith looked down at her finger where Lucile had tore the ring off.

"He had been married before, three times." Alan reminded her.

"And where are they? However you look at it, he is a widow." She corrected Alan. "Thus was not married at the time of my marriage."

Alan knew there wasn't much convincing in her. he wheeled her to her room. She stopped and wheeled back out.

"Edith?"

"Take me back to him. he needs help." She began to roll back the way she came. Alan stood in the hall unmoved. "Either roll me back or I will just roll myself." He groaned and decided not to help her.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Edith made her way back to his room. Thomas was crying softly. She moved over and took his hand. "Thomas please don't cry." Edith did not know if it was cause of the pain or he was in mourning, either way, she didn't want him feeling sad.

"Please leave me." he softly spoke.

"No, you are my husband." She squeezed his hand and then held it to her cheek. He turned his head towards her.

"I am nobody's." He winced in pain and tried to move. She sat up on the side of the bed and he got more anxious. "Please leave, I don't want you here. I don't want you to see me like this."

"I will not abandon you. I told you, you are all that I have." She leaned in to kiss him and he pulled away. He sat up in pain and she hopped off the bed. She then decided, whether it was a good more of not, to be dominate to him. "Thomas Sharpe, stop being a child. You will do what I say. Now you are going to get out of that bed and I will get you to lunch."

"I can't." He refused to move.

"You can sit up, so you can." She grabbed the sheet and he tried to stop her.

"No!" he cried out. she then saw it wasn't that he was unable to leave his bed, but he didn't want to. She looked down at the soiled sheets. It was futile him covering himself now. She looked up and saw how ashamed he was. "I'm sorry."

"Oh darling. It's not your fault." She put the sheet back over him and he lay back down on his side, away from her. "I will get someone to help you." she sat back down in her chair and began to roll herself out.

"Edith." He didn't face her. He heard her chair stop moving. "Edith. Please forgive me." he rolled over and she saw his eyes. They looked right through her soul.

"I don't know if I can. It will take time." She broke off the connection and rolled out of the room.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It had been a week since they came to the hospital. Edith was now moving around on crutches. Alan began helping out in the wards. They were thankful to having another doctor in the ward. Edith had been spending her time by Thomas' bed side. Trying to cheer him up. She found a small library and began to read to him.

He lay quiet. He was thankful of the attention. But still felt he didn't deserve it. Alan never visited, nor treated him. Edith had become quite involved and would change his bandages every day. She would help him up and get him out of bed, even though he didn't want to.

He sat on the side of the bed and she put her arms round his waist. "Now come on get up. Your legs work fine." He slowly stepped onto the cold floor. "Off you go." she pushed him from behind. He turned to her and didn't move forward.

"Edith, are you leaving?" it was the first time he had engaged her in ages. She could tell he was hurt and the answer would greatly affect his mood.

"I am going to go to go home soon, yes." Edith kept pushing him to walk around.

"So what I to become of me?" he began to cry. He inhaled uneasy. She held him close.

"I'm not leaving without you." she admitted.

"What?" he was surprised. He was happy to hear that. "But what about Alan?"

"He will head back if he wants to." She dismissed it. "I will help you. I said I would." She walked him towards the bathroom. "Now, hurry up and sort yourself out and we will go for a walk to get some lunch." He nodded and walked into the bathroom. He slipped down his pants and then lifted up his shirt. He looked down at his bandaged side. It didn't hurt as much.

He walked over to the sink and washed his face. He stared up at the face in the mirror. He ran his fingers over the scar on his cheek. It was healing. He wondered if it would leave a scar and if he wanted it to.

He finished getting undressed and began to unwrap his bandages. His feet pattered along the cold floor. He leaned in and turned on the shower and put his hand under it.

The water was cold and didn't seem to warm up at all. He sighed. Another cold shower. It was probably a good idea as he felt it was appropriate he was constantly punished. He stepped in and shuddered at the cold. He slowly began to wash himself. He rubbed down over his tender side. He then reached down and held his soft penis. His cries were hidden by the shower water raining down over him.

He couldn't help but think about how all he had done was wrong. Everything that Lucile did to him, he knew he liked it but couldn't stop her. Even when he met Edith, even when he had finally had sex with her, his first, he still ran back to Lucile.

He began to touch himself. He started to softly tug himself as he thought about her. They way she would touch him. When he was scared or upset he could always go to her room in the nursery. Even when Edith moved into the manor house, he only spent one night with her.

Thomas had spent so long avoiding sex, he felt like he didn't want it unless it was from Lucile. Even touches of affection he hated from others. He would always have to check himself when he hugged or kissed Lucile in public. He was so used to being openly affectionate with her at home.

It was hard for him to hid his feelings. He remembered many occasions sitting near her at some formal dinner and he would become aroused. She would strategy escort him away so no one would see. Then she would find a quiet place to finish him off.

Thomas looked down at himself in the shower. He was hard, despite the cold water. He began to pull himself harder as he thought more of what she would do to him. He then came hard against the door of the shower. Thomas stopped and braced himself against the wall. He looked down at his mess. He then burst into tears and slumped down in the shower.

He punched the wall with the base of his fist. Edith could hear his sobbing echo out. She pushed open the door and hesitantly walked in. she had always given him his privacy. Even though she had been intimate with him that night at the trading post, she had never seen him naked.

She sighed with relief that the door was closed on the shower. "Thomas?"

"Please go away."

"Thomas why are you crying." She then feared the worst. "Please, don't hurt yourself." She looked around and saw the razor was still on the sink.

"I don't deserve you. I am defective." He sobbed. She exhaled hard and pushed open the door to the shower. He was sitting on the floor crunched up with his arms wrapped around his knees.

_____________

"What is wrong darling?" she leaned in and turned off the taps. She tried not to stare at his naked body. She was relived se couldn't see all of him. She was still shy when it came to such things. She grabbed a towel and draped it over his shoulders and then grabbed another to put around his waist. He stood slowly and he let her wrap the towel around him.

He looked up at her eyes. There was no hate, there was no hidden agenda. He raised his shaking hand to take the towel. "I don't deserve you."

Edith walked him back to his bed. They sat down and he look at his clothes she had laid out. He ran his hand over them. They weren't the tailored suits he was used to. More casual.

"Edith, I need to know. If I had never met you in your father's office, would you have married Alan?"

"Likely." She paused then looked at his hands then took one in hers and examined the palm. She stroked her fingers across it and then lifted it to her lips and gently kissed it.

Thomas flinched at the affection. She looked at him and then touched his cheek, covering his scar with her hand. "Thomas, I think we still were destined to meet." She then leaned in and kissed him. He was reluctant but still did not stop her.

He placed his hands on her arms and held her as she continued. He broke it off and shook his head. "I don't think this is wise."

"Why not?" She got a bit defensive. "You have always been reluctant. Every kiss we have had, has been instigated by me. Do you not love me enough that you could make the first move?" she wanted to be sure of his motives.

"I do want to kiss you, couldn't you tell from how I responded?"

"That's just it. You responded. Never initiated. What are you afraid of Thomas?" She saw he was terrified of something.

"Lucile." He stuttered.

"She is dead and gone. No what are you afraid of?"

"She is not gone. She still haunts me. Every waking thought I have, every time I question my actions, she is there in my mind." He clenched his fists to try and feel stronger. "She made me promise not to love anyone but her."

Edith was shocked. She didn't dispute the idea that he was being tormented by her ghost. "What are you not telling me?"

"That's why she tried to kill me. Because I admitted loving you." he touched the scar on his chest then looked up at her. "I fell in love with you Edith, I always felt something but I didn't understand it. I have never had this feeling with my other wives."

"You loved Lucile didn't you?"

"That's just it. I'm so confused. I thought I did. It was powerful what was between us. I was a moth to her flame. I was devoted but blind. It wasn't till you and I kissed. That first time, before we knew of the sadness, that was when I knew that there was something missing in my relationship with my sister."

"That day, in the hotel." Edith pondered deeply, the kiss she shared before the news of her father's death. "I felt it too." She stood up and grabbed her crutch. "I'm going to the dining hall. If you happen to be there.." she inhaled deeply. "Well I will see you there." She turned and did her best not to cry.

Thomas sat on the bed he took off his towel and slowly began to dress. He didn't know if he would go talk to her. She seemed to not want to be seen by him. He slowly pulled up his pants and sat down to put his shoes on.

He looked over at the mirror and began to do up his bowtie. He brushed his hair back with his hand. It was getting long. He stared at himself. Contemplating if he should go to her.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Thomas walked slowly down the hall to the dining room. He looked around and saw her. She was sitting with her back to him. He sighed and slowly made his way over to her table. He stood and with a nervous whisper asked. "Edith Cushing, may I join you?"

"Yes." She glanced up and he sat holding his hands and biting his bottom lip.

"I am sorry for what I put you through." He knew at some point he would have to explain himself.

"I know why you think you did it, but would this have been the same for Eunice? That was who you were after."

"Possible. My sister picked her when she was here in London on holiday. I hated it, but I knew my sister couldn't be married and would scream if another man tried to touch her." Thomas looked at the table and not her. "I was so alone. I was taken from the only person who had care for me."

"When they sent you to boarding school?"

"Yes. I grew up not knowing or understanding what I had done. When I was 18 and in my final year I was taught about marriage and sex. I didn't realise the level of what I had done wrong till I was confronted by it."

Edith shook her head. "It was still wrong. You must have known that from your mother."

"I did. But I hadn't seen the world at that point, never really interacted with other people till I was taken from Allerdale hall. When I left I was given my title and decided to bring Lucile home from her..."

"Asylum?"

"Essentially." Thomas hated to admit. "She had a dark spot in her soul and I saw it every time she look at me. But she was all I had. I was so happy to have her home. I tried to make up for all the years apart." Thomas felt good telling her. On some level he was hoping she would be disgusted and leave him. "I stayed with her every night. I never even considered sleeping by myself."

"Was that her idea?"

"No. It was mutual."

"All things?" She did not want to ask directly, but she had to know. "How long before she started to have se.."

"No." Thomas cut her off. He looked around. No one was listening. Edith glared. She was not ready to be cut off. "Listen, truth is, started is the wrong word." He didn't want to say it and he inhaled awkwardly. "More like continued from when we left off."

Edith sat back. She shook her head. The waiter came over with a trolley and held up a cup.

"Would you like some tea miss?"

She jumped and knocked the cup from his hand. She stood shaking. Thomas wanted to help but he didn't know what to say or do. Alan quickly came over.

"Edith! What happened?"

"She just knocked the tea from my hand." The waiter explained. Alan realised the implications and calmed the situation.

"Sorry, about that. She was just startled." Thomas went to stand and Alan growled at him. "She doesn't like tea. Not since her last cup was deliberately poisoned." He didn't say out loud to those who could hear that the culprit was sitting opposite her.

"Alan, I think I need to go back to my room." She said faintly. He escorted her out, leaving Thomas standing and holding his hands, stressing.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Thomas had not seen Edith for a few days. He knew she had not left the hospital as he had enquired to her status. He wanted her to come back to him, but with Alan around he didn't know how to talk to her. He wanted her to understand. Then he would accept whatever decision she made as to his fate.

He knew he would have to seek her out. He began to watch her. See when Alan would leave her side. He saw her sitting in the garden and he farewelled her and headed back with a nurse to start his rounds.

Thomas didn't move straight away. He thought of how he would confront her. He watched her as she was now just walking with a cane. He smiled at her healing. She headed back towards the hospital. He moved closer and she stopped. She turned to see him there.

"Edith." He couldn't think of anything to say.

"Sir Thomas." She said with no familiarity, like he was a stranger. He felt that cut him. He moved forward and went to grab her arm but hesitated.

"Edith please." His eyes welled up with tears. "I have to talk to you."

"I don't know if I want to hear any more." She gave him a moment. "Thomas have you even considered my feeling? That maybe I don't want to know any more about you."

"I just wanted to tell you the truth."

"I don't need the whole truth. Not after seeing your face that night." She moved closer and then slapped him. He nodded.

"I deserve that. And more."

"You betrayed me. I thought I meant something to you?"

"You do!" he pled. He held her arms and wanted to kiss her but he waited.

"You wanted us both and you didn't even consider that neither of us were willing to share." Edith sort of laughed as she sort of took Lucile's side. "I want to know something. That night I caught you. The night after you fucked me." she was callous and Thomas was shocked at her sounding like Lucile.

"Edith, please..."

"No!" Edith slapped him again. He dropped his jaw and his mouth slightly agape as he panted, unsure of her next move. "You looked right through me. you stopped kissing her and you looked at me like there was nothing wrong with what she was doing to you."

"I'm sorry."

"Sorry? You looked at me like I was the one in the wrong! That I was interrupting what she was doing with her hand!" She turned away and took a few steps then turned back. "Tell me, was I so inadequate in satisfying you that you had to run back to your sister for a hand job and a lullaby!?" she didn't want the answer and stormed off.

He stood in the grove, watching her leave.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It was night and the hospital was quiet. The moon was out in full and the bright light illuminated Thomas' room. Thomas sat in his room in the corner, hiding. He didn't want to talk to anyone at the moment. He hurt Edith, but how could he even attempt to make it up to her. he heard his door creak open. It was Alan. He saw him sitting in the corner behind the bed.

"I suspected as much. Hiding like a child." He taunted. He made no secret of his hate and Thomas didn't correct him. he walked over. And grabbed him by his loose shirt. Yanking him to his feet. Nearly tearing off his shirt. "Edith told me what you discussed. Do you think she will want you back? Do you think she will feel sorry for you?"

"Alan I.." He punched him in the stomach and winded him.

"I was being rhetorical." He dragged him into the bathroom and grabbed a straight razor and forced it into Thomas' hand. "Now do us all a favour and kill yourself." He growled into his ear. Thomas started to cry. He wanted to die but was too scared to do it by his own hands. He could never kill anyone. Not like his sister.

"Please Alan." He sobbed. Alan grabbed his long dark hair and yanked his head back.

"No, I think you should live. And you shall suffer." He then ripped down Thomas' pants and swiftly took the razor and held it to his crotch. "I think I shall do the world a favour and remove the cause of your sins."

Thomas sobbed and began to shake slightly. He knew this would hurt but he still did nothing to stop him. he felt the razor nick his skin and the cut began to bleed. Alan did not press any further and looked down to see Thomas pissing in fear. The trail of blood and urine running down his legs and pooling on the floor.

"Alan!" Edith came in and turned on the lights. He let Thomas go and he fell to the floor holding himself. Alan dropped the razor and stormed off. Edith looked down at the man sobbing and felt conflicted about her next move.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Edith stood for the longest time. This man who was so enthusiastic and lively had in a few short hours had become a dishevelled mess and a shadow of his former self. His sister's death had taken his will to live.

But there was a glimmer of hope. Edith. She was what got him to change. To break the cycle. She relaxed and felt her anger subside. Thomas looked down at his hand. He lifted his palm to see the blood. His eyes were so full of tears he couldn't focus.

He felt a gentle hand on his shoulder and a figure knee down next to him. He glanced over to see Edith. She handed him a towel and proceed to place it on his groin to wipe up the blood. It looked worse than it really was. The blood had slowed as it was only a small cut and not near any major vessels. She went to the sink and filled a jug with water. She then poured it over him to wash away majority of the mess.

"Thomas, I'm going to get the nurse and they will fix you up." She stood and exhaled. She slowly limped out and he sat looking at the razor on the floor. He thought for a second about cutting himself. Then he thought about Edith's compassion. She still did care for him. She wanted him to live.

She returned with the nurse and see began to treat him. He was thankful that she had spared some of his dignity and washed away the evidence of his fear.

The nurse inspected him and he only needed a bandage. She wrapped the compression through his legs and he kept himself covered and out of the way. Edith blushed about how nonchalant the nurse was to the situation. She was so comfortable with nudity.

Thomas was helped to his feet and he walked slowly to his bed. Edith handed him his underwear and held up the towel to shield him and he dropped the wet towel he had been covering himself with and slipped on his pants. He picked up a clean shirt and put that on as well.

Edith picked up his dirty cloths and put them in the wash basket. She then washed the floor again with another jug of water. She walked over to the bedside and the nurse did her final checks then departed.

"Thomas, do you want to live?"

He thought for a moment about what he would live for. "Yes."

"If I left for Buffalo and you stayed here, would you still want to live?"

"Yes." This time he replied a bit more confidently. "I think that if you wanted me to live, then that's what I would want." He smiled slightly. She then patted his hand.

"Ok, hop in to bed. I will tuck you in." he felt his heart leap slightly at her maternal care. She pulled the blankets up over him. It was kind of cold in the hospital. Winter was ending soon but it was still hanging on. She then brushed the hair from his eyes. "I think I shall give you a hair cut tomorrow." She leaned in and kissed his forehead.

He sighed and then closed his eyes. He felt safe.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Thomas sat in the bathroom, hair freshly washed. She came up behind him and began to run the comb through his hair. She then took the ends and began to snip little bits off. He watched as the cuttings landed down on the towel draped over him. He lowered his head and Edith stopped him.

She placed her hands gently on the sides of his head. "Keep your head up."

"Sorry." He smiled. It was like he was young again. When he would squirm getting his hair cut. She continues to trim his long curls. He looked ahead in the mirror and saw he dutifully cutting his hair. She then glanced up and saw him looking at her reflection. She smiled and then broke off the gaze.

"There. All done." She pulled off the towel and he looked up at the mirror. Turning his head from side to side as he smiled.

"Thank you." He stood up and then looked more closely in the mirror. He turned to see she was not in the bathroom anymore. He walked out to see her near the doorway. She was closing the door to his room. She turned and locked it.

"Thomas, there are some things we need to .. discuss." She moved towards him. He sat on the bed and looked puzzled. She moved close and sat beside him. "Climb up here." She patted the bed. He pulled his legs up off the floor onto the bed and leaned against the wall. She then proceeded to run her hand up his thigh towards his crotch. He swallowed hard.

She then began to cup him and squeezed him gently. He moaned softly. She was surprised at how reactive he was. He was already getting hard. She unbuttoned his pants and she could see the distinctive bulge in his underwear. She then sat up and pulled his pants down slightly. Edith then gently hooked her fingers into the top of his waist band and slowly pulled his underpants down.

His erection sprung free and lay hard up against his stomach. She then careful took a hold of him. She was nervous and scratched his skin slightly with her nails. He gasped and went to grab her wrist. He held back and let her explore him. She squeezed him a bit tighter, then began to slide her hand down. She looked at how his foreskin pulled back down exposing his head.

She saw him leak a bit of pre-cum. She kept hold of him and then used her free hand pinch his head between her fingers. She then moved her middle finger between his glands and he moaned loudly. She figured he liked this. Edith moved close to him and whispered. "Thomas, do you want me to keep going?"

"Mmmm yes." He reached over and put his hand on her arm. "Please."

"Let me know if I'm doing this right." She then changed the grip of her hands. He placed his hand gently over hers to guide her.

"Do what you think feels good and that will be what is right." He reassured her. "I only know how it feels, and it feels pretty amazing."

She blushed and then she stopped and thought. She was about to ruin the moment. "Thomas, is this how Lucile would do it?"

He looked at her a bit disappointed, but then who could blame her. "No. She wasn't this gentle. She seemed to be driven by something less loving." He placed his hands on hers. "If you don't want to keep going, I will understand."

"No. I want to know. I want to know what you know of sex. I want to know if other than your choice of partner, there is nothing untoward in what you did."

Thomas took her hands off him and he knelt up on the bed and faced her holding her hands in his. "Edith Cushing, you don't have to explore this with someone like me. I think you should figure this out with your husband."

"Firstly I am Edith Sharpe, and you are my husband." She smiled and he then moved in and kissed her. This time he initiated. She placed her hands on his waist and knelt up to meet him. They kissed softly and hardly tilted their heads. They did not go deep or use their tongues. It was more like the innocence they both craved.

Like their first kiss in the hotel. There was a thud at the door and the handle jiggled. "Edith!" Alan yelled. He pounded on the door desperate. He then smashed the door open with a shoulder charge. He stumbled forward to see Thomas with his pants down and holding Edith on his bed. "You let her go!" he yelled.

Alan was flanked by some police men. One pulled out his baton and held it ready. "Sir, let go of the woman and stow yourself!" He kind of found it confronting that he was exposed and erect. Thomas fixed his pants and then was about to express his disappointment when he knew that Edith was more shocked than he.

"Alan what have you done?!" she cried out as the men came over and roughly grabbed Thomas and cuffed him. "Let him go!" she grabbed one of the policemen's arms. Alan subdued her.

"He is going to pay for his crimes." Alan told her as she struggled.

"Thomas Sharpe, you are under arrest for the murders of Pamela Upton, Margaret McDermott and Enola Sciotti."

"What?!" Both Edith and Thomas exclaimed. She turned to Thomas and saw he had no choice but to comply. If he struggled it would be worse.

The men escorted him towards the door. "Alan, please, don't do this." She begged.

"Edith, he would have done the same to you." Alan held her close. She didn't want to believe it.

Thomas looked back at her with raised eyebrows and a weak smile of hope. "I'm sorry Edith, but we both knew I couldn't hide from my past for long." He was accepting his fate.

"No!" she screamed as they dragged him from her sight.

________________

Thomas was thrown into the cells still cuffed. He hit the wall and grunted. It was dark and dingy and cold. There was a small window with bars and the rain blew in. the guard came in and shoved him against the wall as he uncuffed him. He rubbed his wrists and stood up confidently.

"You will be arraigned in the morning." The door closed and he was alone. But then he smiled. Not completely. Edith was in his corner. He knew he would be punished, Alan would make sure he suffered. He sat on the simple bench and draped the blanket over himself.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The court room was crowded. People clamouring and waiving papers. The gavel banged and the court room grew silent as the presiding judge came in. Thomas was not the first case, nor the second. He waited in the docks for hours for his time to be heard.

His case was announced and he looked up and he saw Edith at the back of the court room. He nodded to her to let her know he was all right. He took his place on the stand and the bailiff handed him a bible.

The court appointed QC stood and shuffled his papers. He was an older man and his long dark robes and tight wig amplified his seniority.

"Your honour, Sir Thomas Sharpe of Allerdale hall, is accused of the murder of his three wives." The judge turned to Thomas and was about to ask, when Edith yelled out.

"He did not kill them, his sister did!"

"Quite, restrain that woman." The Judge waved his hand. "Sir Thomas, what say you to these allegations?"

"I am complicit in my sister's actions as did not stop her, therefore I must be guilty." He accepted his fate.

"You freely admit to being party to the murders of these women?" The judge confirmed. Thomas looked over at Edith who wanted him to fight.

"Your honour, I did not take their lives nor am I sure of the locations of their bodies, but I knew my sister was the reason for them not being alive.." he swallowed. "Then I am guilty."

"Very well, you are to be heard next month." The judge wrote some notes. "Next case!"

Thomas was led away. He strained his neck to look back at Edith. She stretched out her arm even though there were tens of people between them. He felt himself be shoved down to the cells.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Thomas spent the next few days in his cell. No visitors, save the guards on their rounds. He was treated better than some of the others waiting. Their crimes, surprisingly, were worse than his.

He stood up on his bench/bed. He peered out the small window to the sunshine. It wasn't the most picturesque part of town, in fact it was quite industrial. He did not mind. He looked at the view and wish Edith was out there for him to gaze upon.

He heard a clank at his cell door it wasn't a meal time. He turned and saw a guard with Edith. His face lit up and he went to move towards her, the guard stopped them.

"Edith.." he gasped.

"Thomas." She put her hands on the bars. He placed his hands on hers.

"I am so thankful you are by my side through this." He smiled and moved closer, but was restricted by the bars.

She pulled backed her hands free of his. There was something she was hiding.

"You shouldn't be so happy. Alan doesn't know I'm here." She turned away. "I wish it didn't come to this."

"Edith?"

"I have heard them talking, Alan and the prosecutors. He wants you hanged." She turned to him and he tried to sound strong.

"Edith, we both knew that there would be a chance of that." He seemed to accept his fate.

"I wish you weren't so calm about this." She moved back to him and reached through the bars. He took her hands. He was cold and she looked down at his clothes. He was treated fairly well due to his title, but he hadn't had an opportunity to bathe or change his clothes.

"I will be fighting it, don't worry. But I have to be aware that the law is not on my side."

"I'm on your side!" she called out to him with tears. She clutched his hands firmly. He pressed up against the bars and she reached up and touched his face. Looking down at his scar on his cheek. "I will not let anything happen to you."

"Edith, kiss me. Just in case I never see you again." A single tear ran down his cheek and touched her hand. She pulled back her hand then moved close and kissed him softly through the bars. Then there was a bang on the bars.

"Enough of that." The guard scowled.

"It's Ok she is my wife." Thomas smiled and held hands and looked down at her delicate fingers. His appeared so dirty compared to hers.

"Is there anything I can do for you?" She wanted to help.

"I would much like it if I could bathe and have some fresh clothes, at least for my trial."

"I'll see what I can do." She smiled and he raised up her hand and kissed the back of it. He then took off his ring and slipped it on to her ring finger. It was a bit loose but she smiled and rubbed it. She liked the idea if his ring rather than Lucile's.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The gavel slammed down and the echo silenced the court room. Thomas felt his heart rip out in fear. "Guilty!" the voice was the only thing her heard. He looked around franticly. Edith was nowhere to be found. He clutched his hands. He looked down at his now ragged suit. He hadn't been able to wash properly for the last few months.

Cold water tap in his cell is all he had. At least the spring was now upon him, but it was still bitterly cold and he still had nothing new to wear if he tried to wash his clothes.

The guards grabbed the panicked man. He thought he was accepting of his fate, but now he was facing it, it was terrifying. He struggled and fought to brake free. The judge took out a black handkerchief and placed it over his tightly coiled wig. Thomas cried out.

"No!" tears streamed down his face.

"Sir Thomas Sharpe, you are sentence to be hanged by the gallows until you are dead dead dead."

The guards didn't take much effort in dragging him from the docks to the holding cells below. Thomas kicked and pulled his arms and legs. He didn't want to die.

He hadn't seen Edith for a month. He didn't know if she had returned to America. He feared Alan had taken her home against her will but convinced her.

He grabbed the bars of his cell and shook them. "Please! I'm innocent!" he screamed. The guard walked up to him and grinned.

"There seems to be an awful lot of you innocent types here." He tapped the bars. "Oh well if you are truly innocent then God will accept you and maybe offer you a reprieve." He laughed and walked off.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Edith sat in her room, not in the house she grew up in but a room that Alan had had made up for her. He gather her effects from Cumberland and the other's that were in storage and yet to leave Buffalo.

Alan had done his best to set up the home with things that were familiar to her. His work as a doctor was paying well and he had been busy with clients as soon as they returned to the Americas.

Alan had taken to Edith doing his books and transcribing his observations during exams to keep her mind busy.

She would occasionally looks focused and something would remind her of Thomas. The last patient of the day had just left the office. Edith sat by the window and put down her pen. She looked out at the branch near the window. The buds were all out and the flowers were feeding the busy hungry insects that buzzed around.

She saw a butterfly land on the window sill. She flashed back to the time in the park where she saw the butterflies die when she was with Thomas and Lucile. She felt a sadness. She hated leaving him. He was to go through a trial alone. She clutched her chest.

She looked down her hand. His ring sill on her finger. She looked down at it and cried. Alan saw her sad and walked over to her. "Edith?"

"Oh don't mind me." she wiped her eyes. "I'm fine."

"What is wrong." He knew it as soon as he said it. "Thomas." He sat down beside her with distain. "Edith, I thought you put that behind you? He is a murder and a stain on society that should not have been allowed to get this far in life."

"Alan!" she grew angry. "He is still my husband."

"No. He never was. And soon he will be dead." He stood up. "The sooner you accept this the sooner we can move on."

"We?" She turned on her chair o watch him put on his coat. Her stubborn nature took over. "Alan are you expecting to be married to me?"

"Well I thought that's what you always wanted I know your father always thought we would be married." He was not aggressive towards her. He placed his hand on her shoulder. "Do you not love me?" He eyes were soft despite his trials. "I know we have been friends for years. I thought that counted for more than others, even my mother's failed marriage. That our relationship was based on an equal partnership and mutual interests that we have a passion for."

"We do. But what I had with Thomas, well I can't describe it. He was so shy in the matters of love despite being older than you, but his mind, his ideas. They were so exciting. He was so creative despite being stifled by his sister and his financial circumstances." She stood up and grabbed her coat and hat. "I think I should write him a letter, let him know I will wait for him and will pay his fare to travel after his trial is over."

She nodded as she just made the decision then and wasn't going to falter.

"I think you are wasting your time." Alan shook his head calmly. He was sentenced to death yesterday. I read the telegram."

"What!?" She yelled and dropped her hat and grabbed him. "Why didn't you tell me? I thought he was going to be released or only spend a short time in prison!"

"Edith, you are naive to think he would not be punished." He tried to calm her.

"You had something to do with this!"

"Edith I gave them some information that he was the sole cause of your father's death. I had too."

She shook her head and grabbed her things and ran from the office. She walked at pace through the crowded streets. Tears streaming down her face. Her hand covering her mouth. She stopped and looked up, she found herself at her old house. She looked up and it was still vacant.

She wiped her eyes and inhaled sharply. She hitched up her dress and strode down the street. The post office was not far, just a block. She started to plan and figure things out.

She strode in the office still focused and determined to rectify the situation. She walked up to the wire desk. "Excuse me." she tried to compose herself. "Can you send a telegram for me?"

"Yes, Ma'am, Just tell me and I will write it down for our Morse man to send for you."

"Do you think that because I am a woman I am uneducated and illiterate and cannot write a message?" she was angry at the men in this place.

"No Ma'am, I thought that.."

"That in my current state I couldn't be trusted to be rational?" she was pissed.

"No Ma'am, I mean no offence... I just meant I will write it out in Morse for you." he offered. She felt stupid.

"Oh." She apologised.

"It's ok Ma'am. Just write your message. I know you must still be dealing with your father's death. He was a pillar of society here. Many people respected him." he handed her a handkerchief.

"'Oh, thank you." she nodded and wrote her note. She payed him and then walked out.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Edith stood in her room and looked at her things. She had so many clothes, hats and shoes. She pulled out a bag and began to look around. She decided that she would need to be practical about this. She spent a few hours in sorting and packing her trunks.

She stopped and sat down on her bed. Then she decided that she didn't need these things. She emptied out a small trunk and then packed it with two dresses and some underclothes. She nodded. "Travel light. I don't need to take everything with me. It's just to get to him." she smiled and thought of her plan. She packed her small box with some cash and her note book.

Edith found she could lift her small trunk fairly easily. She smiled and decided to carry it down stairs herself. She knew she had to leave before Alan got home. He would just try and talk her out of this. She felt her chest tighten. She worried if she couldn't get to him before he was executed. Then she shook her head. "No. I mustn't think of that. I must be positive. Even if I don't get there, I must give him a proper burial. I don't want him to be buried in a mass unmarked grave."

She pushed open the door to their house and dragged the trunk down to the sidewalk. She caught the eye of a passerby.

"Miss are you ok?"

"Yes, well... could you perhaps draw the attention of a carriage for me?"

He nodded and walked out to the street. He waved his hand to a horse and cart. They stopped and the driver dismounted. They both helped Edith with her trunk and didn't take much note as she wasn't over burdened like most people who travel.

"Where too miss?" the driver asked.

"The railway station please."

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Thomas sat in the corner of his cell, he was crunched up in a ball. His arms wrapped around his legs. He didn't want to die. He sobbed as he rocked back and forth. He heard a man's voice softly echoing through the dark. It was from the other cells down the halls the prison.

He stood slowly and peered out his cell bars. He listened to the lament, singing in an Irish accent. Thomas listened to his melancholy song.

"It was a fine summers evening,

While I lay sleeping,

And the lag is weeping in his prison cell.

The auld triangle goes jingle jangle,

All along the banks of the royal canal.

In the women's prison,

There are seventy women,

And I wish it was with them that I did dwell.

But that auld triangle goes jingle bloody jangle,

All along the banks of the royal canal."

He sat back down on the floor and pulled his blanket over his shoulders. He was to face the gallows. He was so scared. He looked down at his finger and saw he no longer hat his family ring. "Oh Edith. Did you chose to leave me here? I know I deserved it for the way I treated you."

"Quite in there!" the guards yelled down the hall. Thomas shivered and clutched his blanket tightly. He looked up at the window. The morning twilight was starting to dissolve the night. His heart skipped a beat as he noticed the stars start to disappear.

He began to panic, he would be dragged out of his cell in a few hours and face his death. He then closed his eyes tightly and began to nervously hum that ill-fated lullaby.

He rocked back and forth and couldn't keep up his humming without choking on his tears. He dug his fingers in his arms. He looked down at the floor and then back up at the window. The light was getting brighter. The darkness fading into a lighter blue. "No, no, no." he muttered to himself. He shook his head and crawled over to the corner. He wanted to see when his captors were coming for him.

He blinked slowly. His eyes began to get heavy. He shook his head. He had to stay awake. He felt his head nod. He clenched his fists. He needed to prepare himself to fight.

He had never fought back in his life. Lucile always fought for him. He had never hurt anyone till she made him stab Alan. Even then he couldn't do it with any malice and never wanted a death on his hands. Thomas couldn't fight it, soon he was in a deep sleep.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Edith sat staring out the front of the ship. She had been travelling for a few days now. She willed the ship on to travel as fast as it could. She had to get to England. She had hoped that she would get to the prison in time. She felt powerless as she looked out though the sea spray.

Then she had an idea. She ran down the hallways of the ship, clutching her little box. She stopped and looked at an escape plan and found where she needed to go, the radio room.

She banged on the door insistently. A young man about her age opened the door. He was about to yell but he saw the young desperate woman before him. "Ma'am, this is the radio room, I'm not sure who you are after, but guests don't normal come here."

"I know, I need you to send a message, I need to find out some information." She handed him some money. He was shocked. He read the note and understood her situation.

"No, I couldn't take this." He pushed it back towards her. "I will send your message, but I won't take your money."

He opened the door wider. Then beckoned her in. She sat down on a small chair near his desk. She looked around at all the gadgets and wires. She smiled when she thought how Thomas would have been so interested in this.

"It has been sent."

"How long till you get a response?"

"Could be hours, could be days." He said trying to give her hope but not false hope.

"I shall wait." She adjusted herself like she was there for the long haul.

"Miss, you can stay till the end of my shift, then you have to leave. I will come find you when we get word." He patted her hand.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Edith blinked her eyes and lifted her head from her forearms, the young man was gone and another man was at the radio desk. He turned to see her rouse.

"Oh good evening Ma'am. John explained the situation about your message. You had fallen asleep and we didn't think it right to wake you. We figured that if you slept till the message came, you wouldn't be awake and frantic waiting."

"Oh, that is kind of you." she sat up and looked around. "How long was I sleeping?"

"A few hours." He responded then held up his hand as a message was coming in. he turned back to his desk and put on his head phones to listen and write.

She watched intently and hoped it was a message from Thomas. The man didn't even look at her, he just kept going with his radio logs. No response.

She sat for a few hours and began to feel she was imposing. There had been many radio messages, but none for her. She stood up and exhaled.

"Thank you for your assistance. But I feel I should return to my cabin. Please let me know if I have an answer." She headed to the door.

"Please get some rest. I'm sure we will hear soon." He reassured her.


	2. ships in the night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the comments, hope you like where I take the story

He woke to hands grabbing him. He didn’t even hear his cell door open. Thomas screamed and kicked in protest. “No please!” he begged. “I don’t want to die!” The guards gave him a whack with their batons.

  
“How the world turns! I bet all those women you killed probably begged for their lives too.” The large man gripped Thomas by his throat and began to squeeze slightly as he stared into his eyes.

Thomas couldn’t breathe and his fingers gripped the guard’s wrist in a futile attempt to break his grip. The guard released him and Thomas fell to his knees, coughing and crying.

“I never killed them.” He muttered. The guard stood over him and tapped him with his foot.

“What did you say?”

“I didn’t kill them.” Thomas said a little louder, but still keeping his head down, not making eye contact.

“The judge sees it different.” He yanked him to his feet and the other guard gripping him under the arm. “Now you will die and maybe the families will get some justice.”

______

Edith stood at the railing as the ship came into port. The city was covered in a light fog. She could see the outline of the building where she needed to go. It was so close. It seemed to take forever to dock. Edith gripped the railing, willing it on. She looked down and contemplated jumping rather than waiting but it was a long way down.  
The horn sounded and the ship shuddered to a halt with a bump to the dock by the tug boats. She gripped her small bag and ran down to where the gang way would join. The worker at the gate saw her urgency.

“Ma’am, keen to get off eh? No a fan of the sea?”

“No, I have to get to the court house. My husband life is in the balance.” She gripped her hands together. “Could you let me off as soon as you can?”

“What about your luggage?” he looked down and her small bag.

“I don’t need it. I can come back to get it.”

The man turned away and resumed his duties. He clipped on the gangway and attached the chains. He stepped back. “Here you go Ma’am, careful it is a bit slippery.” She nodded and gripped the chain as she gingerly bounded down to the dock.

Edith hoicked up her heavy dress and ran as best she could through the crowds of people loading and unloading. Through the cargo and crates to a row of carriages waiting. She ran up to the driver out of breath. “Driver!” She panted. “Can you take me to the court house? Its urgent!” she held out a pound note. He took it with a wide smile.

“Certainly Ma’am!” he jumped down and helped her in. “Do you have and luggage?”

“No, please hurry.” He nodded and released the brake and tugged the reins willing his horses on.  
_______

 

Thomas was shaking as he was forced down to his knees by the two burly guards. Their hands gripping and pressing down on his shoulders. He looked up through tears to see the crowd of people in the square outside the courthouse. Some were going about their daily business, others we waiting the executions. Watching in lurid anticipation of the misfortunes of others.

Thomas looked up at another man being dragged up to the gallows. The executioner stood with his black hood next to the leaver. Thomas couldn’t see his eyes but it felt his eyes on him. He sobbed silently. He thought he sensed the executioner smile at him as he pushed the bar and carried out the sentence. The rope went taught and the body giggled and his legs kicked about for a bit then it was still.

The guard at the base of the gallows walked over to the lifeless body. He examined it. “He’s dead.” The executioner peered down through the trapdoor and then lowered the body to the ground.

Thomas gasped in shock. He was next. The guards dragged Thomas to his feet and towards the stairs up to the deck. The executioner closed the door and loosened off the noose.

The two guards struggled with Thomas who was resisting. “Settle down!” one punched him in the stomach. Thomas buckled over and fell to the deck. The guards laughed and kicked him slightly. Thomas stayed on his hands and knees. “Oh man!” on exclaimed. “Looks like you won the bet this time.”

The guard handed over a handful of coins to his mate standing over Thomas. The guard leaned down and grabbed him by the scruff of the neck. “Scared are we?” he taunted as he pulled him back and pointed to the puddle forming on the deck and soaking the front of his pants.

The executioner moved over with the open noose and slipped it over Thomas’s head. “You can stay on your knees and cry; it makes no difference to me. When you fall it will be just more of a sudden stop.” He chuckled as he stood and adjusted the rope stop point. “That should be long enough.”

Thomas tried to grab the noose and was immediately hit across his knuckles. He cried out and the guards dragged him over to the trap door. He looked around frantically but before he could move the leaver was pulled and he felt the floor fall away and his legs drop from beneath him.

The rope whizzed up past his ear and he fell to the length of the rope. His neck jerked back but the sudden stop was more pain than he expected. The rope wasn’t adjusted right and his feet hit the ground. He couldn’t bend his legs fully and he choked on the noose. He reached up and tugged at the rope. He swayed and coughed.

This was worse; his death was being prolonged by the limited weight on his throat. He struggled and couldn’t get the noose loose. His arms couldn’t reach and he felt himself blacking out. He let out his last few panicked breaths and his arms fell to his sides.

The guard ran over and dragged him down. The noose was loosened and he fell on the cobblestones. The guard dragged his body out from under the structure. He heard a wheeze. “Shit. He’s not dead.”

They dropped his arm and Thomas rolled to his side. He could barely open his eyes. He slowly dragged his hand to his throat and coughed slightly. He was relived he was not dead but it then dawned on him they would just try again or do it another way.

The guards kicked him. “Get up!” Thomas didn’t respond except through a series of grunts. “I said get up!” he grabbed him and went to pull him to his feet with the help of another. An official walked over to them.

“Well luck is on his side I guess. Take him back to the cells.” He walked off. The two guards looked up at the executioner who shrugged and adjusted his rope for the next man. They went to take him away when another guard called out behind them and laughed.

“Careful chaps! He looks like he shat himself!” he laughed and pointed to Thomas. The guards carrying him turned to see and dropped Thomas and immediately checked their clothes to see if they got any on themselves.

Thomas figured it was the least of his worries.

“Get up!” the guard poked him with his baton. Thomas slowly complied coughing. “Now walk.” They poked him again, like cattle moving to the slaughter. He coughed and held his throat. He rubbed it as he walked.

He stumbled slightly as he moved back to the prison. The guards took it in turns to tell the crowd blocking their paths to move and the predicament that Thomas had gotten into.

“Keep clear, this one has shit himself. You don’t wanna get any on you!”

One woman pointed and laughed. Thomas stopped and looked up at her. He didn’t know why they were taunting him. He had done nothing to them. He looked past her and saw someone stepping down out of a carriage. He smiled as she pushed through the crowd.

Thomas opened his mouth agasp, but no sound came out. He tried to cry out to her but the words would not come, his throat was badly damaged. The guards tugged at his coat and dragged him towards the prison.

Thomas kept trying to turn his head so she could see him. But she didn’t. He was now inside. He coughed and wheezed, trying to say her name.  
____

 

Edith pushed through the crowd and looked around. She couldn’t see Thomas. She saw a few bodies on carts covered over with rough hessian sheets. She walked slowly towards them as she felt her hands shaking. It was just like finding her father in the morgue.

  
She felt herself choke up as her hesitant hand slowly pulled back one of sheets. She closed her eyes. She slowly opened them to see it wasn’t Thomas. A man approached her. “Ma’am, you shouldn’t be here.” He took the sheet from her and covered the dead man. “It’s not for gentle eyes such things.”

  
“Sir, I’m looking for someone.” She said with her mousy whisper.

  
He was shocked that she called him sir. “Ma’am, how can I help?” he tipped his hat to her.  
“My husband, Sir Thomas Sharpe.”

  
The man walked her over to an official with a clip board who was being pestered by a few people at once. “Yes yes, I will take note of that.” He turned to another, “No sir, there is still more than 20 men to be hanged yet.” He was flustered and clearly very busy.

  
Edith felt self-conscious but wanted to find Thomas. The man she was with saw she was too timid to ask and took it upon himself.  
“Excuse me, this fine lady was after Sir Thomas Sharpe.”

  
The clerk looked and him then then to her. He sighed and looked down at his notes. He looked up. “Sorry miss, you have missed the hanging. He was scheduled to be hung 20 minutes ago. His body is probably been taken away.”

  
She gasped. “He has been hung?”

  
“Yes, were you one of his victims that was hoping to see the bastard die?” The clerk said, like it was the only kinds of people who come to watch. She stepped back and walked away. The clerk resumed his busy work.

  
Edith wiped her tears as she stumbled through the crowed. “I’m too late. She gasped.” She wondered over to a wall and lean against it hard for support. She sobbed looking down at her ring.  
_____

 

Thomas stumbled into his cell and rubbed his throat. He wanted to throw a taunt at his captors but he could not speak. He glared at them as they locked the door.  
Thomas stood up on his bed and peered out the window. He frantically looked around. He saw Edith walk to the wall and lean against it. She looked lost. He was only a floor up from the court yard. He grabbed the bars and shook them. He coughed. And forced his breath. He tried to cry out.

  
“Edith!” His voice was a husky whisper. He felt he was shouting but he voice betrayed him. He cried as he shook the bars. He grabbed his iron cup and banged it on the bars. Trying to get her attention. The crowd was too loud. His attempts were futile. She began to walk back to the road towards the carriage.

  
“No!” he screamed internally. “Edith! I’m here! Please!” he lost sight of her through his thick tears. He wiped his face but when he looked up she was gone


	3. Chapter 3

__*  
Edith walked in a daze for hours. she looked up and realised she had no idea where she was. she had traveled a few kilometers from the dank part of town where the prison was and she raised her gaze to see people dressed well and enjoying the sunlight and fresh smells of spring.

  
Ladies in long bellowing dresses carry parasols on the arms of smartly dressed men. all in the latest fashions, making small talk as they ignored the goings on. a boy on a bike whizzed past, carrying baskets of bread. everyone seemed happy and Edith just wanted to scream at them. she wanted to pull the flowers off the trees, she wanted to break the dainty parasol.

  
Why were they so happy? She felt her chest tighten and a single tear rolled down her cheek. She missed Thomas. he died and she wasn't there for him. she looked a the oversized ring on her finger. she promised she would help him, that she would visit him. but she didn't.

  
She wiped her tears and steadied herself on the iron railing of some ornate garden. a butterfly had just landed and was feeding on the newly blossoming flowers. she held her breath and was calm as she watched it slowly move it's wings.

  
She relised life was short. she had to make it right. she looked up and hailed a coach to take her to the docks.

  
__*  
Edith found her luggage and hired a coach to take her far from the city. towards what she feared. Allerdale Hall.

  
The snow had long melted and the grass was lush and green. Findley was waiting to unload the coach and help her step down. he removed his hat and silently nodded his condolences.

  
She smiled politely back. she walked through the wide open door an paused as she looked down where Lucile had killed the dog and stabbed Alan. There was no trace. the rain and wind washed away the sins of a couple of months ago. The gaping hole in the roof was still letting random leaves and weather in. she looked up at the bright blue sky shining down.

  
The pure light seemed so out of place compared to the dark incestuous manifestations of the dilapidated house. She stood for so long in the spotlight shining down through the roof.

  
She was lost in her thoughts of nothing in particular and everything that she didn't snap out till a small cloud passed over and dims the light. She shook her head and walked slowly into the living room and looked deeply into the cold fireplace.

  
She ran her hand over the mantle and examined the dust on her long fingers. footsteps approached her. she turned to see Findley.

  
"Lady Sharpe, your bags have been taken to your room. "I'm begging your pardon but, what are you going to do now? I mean with the young master now gone..." He didn't want to continue, but she understood.

  
"I think I might like to rebuild. I think repairing this place would shed the darkness that it has harbinger for so long." She smiled and exhaled. "Do you think you could hire some men to help?"

  
Findley lit up at the prospect of restoring the house. "It will be a big job, but i would love it if the place were good as new again." He bowed slightly and headed off.  
She felt a bit queezey from all the travel and headed upstairs to unpack and get settled in.

  
___*

  
Edith sat quietly in the uperpart of the library. she opened the curtains on the huge floor to ceiling windows. she spent every day by the window, reading. she was determined to read all the books in the house, starting with the ones from Thomas' room. she wanted to see if she could learn about the man she barely knew.

  
she had not been feeling well the last couple of days. she chalked it upto the fact she had never been alone really. she lived with her father till his death, then her few weeks with Thomas. now they were both gone. she closed the book she was reading and though about Thomas. it had been just over three months since they were married and so much had happened.

  
it was overwhelming. she felt nauseous from the stress of it and suddenly threw up. she coughed and placed her hand to her forehead. she worried that all this worrying was giving her a fever!

  
She made her way to the kitchen and started to clean her face. then she thought of something else that was in the pit of her stomach. Thomas. where was Thomas. she gasped uneasy. she ran from the prison and never collected his body. she felt awful. she wiped her tears and cursed herself for letting him be buried in a potters field.

  
"No." she rallied herself. she stormed outside and looked for Findley. she didn't even notice that she was in her nightgown till she heard the gasps and comments of the men admiring her shape, especially how pronounced her youthful bosom was. she ignored them and didn't care if she was totally naked.

  
"Lady Sharpe!" Findley went to put himself between the men's vision of her.

  
"Findley, I need to go to London. i need to bring my husbands body here."

  
"Yes my lady, that would be for the best. I will send a letter off to find where he is and to have him exhumed." He tried to put it as politely as he could.

  
She relised that without knowing where he was, she couldn't just go digging up a body. She smiled and felt better. as she turned back to the house she noticed the men already starting to work on the roof. She headed back inside to her books.

  
__*

  
Thomas sat quietly in his damp cell. it was now warm and he did not shiver each night. he now had a full beard and his long dark curls had gotten even longer. he he still coughed occasionally, not cause he was ill, but from the damage to his neck by the noose.

  
His voice was horse but the volume had returned. not that he had any cause to talk to anyone. he heard the sound of the trolley on the stone floor and knew that the meal was on its way. he had eaten quite well. it surprised Thomas for the first few days but then relised that the other men who were in here were doing hard labor, and soon he would be joining them.

  
it had only been a few weeks since his hanging and he seemed to have been forgotten. he was moved to another prison, he figured not to far as he was not cooped up in a transport carriage for much more than 30 minutes.

  
he was cleaned d-laosed and given some 'new' rags to wear. they were light and comfortable. a simple large white shirt, at least two sizes to big for his frame, and a pair of long cotton trousers.

  
The labor hadn't been too demanding and where one of the construction engineers who was using the prison labor, relised Thomas had an aptitude for engines, he was moved to another prison, with a lot lighter security. he was now talked with helping build steam locomotives.

  
Thomas kept reminding himself that he didn't deserve it, or it was a dream. there was no way after what he had done he should he be able to do something he loved. he then would wonder if Edith had something to do with this. he smiled as it seemed like the sort of thing she would do. but it was just coincidence.

  
He wiped his brow and turned the gauge to actuate the pistons. the men clapped and cheered at their hard work and that the engine ran. the chief engineer came up and patted Thomas on the back.

  
"You know, i could write the judge and get you a good behavior bond. i would like it if you worked full time for me."

  
"Oh? is that even possible?"

  
"Of course!" The engineer smiled. "I'm sure I can persuade him to let you off with a warning. Its not as if you murdered anyone!" He clearly didn't know Thomas.

  
Thomas was shocked but didn't show it. he didn't really respond at all. The engineer looked at him, still waiting for an answer. "Um, truth sir..." Thomas softly spoke. "I was convicted of that."

  
"What?" the engineer gasped. "You cant be serious!?" He looked at this mild mannered, well educated man before him. "You wouldn't have been transferred to this prison or my services if you were sentenced to die."

  
"I was sentenced to die. I was hung, but it went wrong." Thomas, hung his head in shame. "No I didn't kill anyone, but I didn't stop people from dying, so I was convicted of murder. I don't know how I ended up here."

  
The engineer was shocked but not about to rat out his best asset. "I have a feeling you have been lost in the system. Look, you just keep coming here and I'm going to make some enquires. if they think you are someone else, then maybe you can start a new life?"

  
Thomas sighed with relief. his eyes welled up with happy tears as he nodded.

  
__*

  
Edith woke in pain. she felt very ill. she had a slight panic that she might have ingested the poison that was still in the house. she relised she never knew what it was other than it was put in her tea. she was always conscious not to drink the tea, but could the poison be in a few different things?

  
She covered her mouth and ran to the bathroom and threw up. she coughed but sighed with relief that there was no blood. she decided a nice hot bath would cure her ills. she put on her heavy robe and walked down to look for Findley to get some coal.

  
She leaned over the railing and could hear the tapping of the workers on the roof. she then noticed that the patch of light on the main floor was smaller. she suddenly looked up and saw that they had half covered the hole in the roof. She smiled widely at the progress. it seemed that the Sharpe's had no money at all, despite their confident exteriors.

  
Edith was very will to do, but it didn't take much money to do the repairs thus far. She found Findley and he set about heating the boiler for her to take bath. She smiled as she slowly undressed. everyone here had been so supportive of her. whether that was because she was providing a lot of employment in the shire, she didn't know.

  
But she like they way they always complemented her. saying she was glowing and radiant. She slipped into the warm bath and sighed in relief. it did feel good. she began to wash when she looked down at herself. her hips had really filled out and her breasts seemed to be larger. she wondered if that was just cause she was now becoming a woman.

  
Her mother was thin, perhaps from her illness. she wondered if her solid build came from her father. then she felt nauseous again. she breathed deeply and then finished up. she stood and looked at herself in the long mirror. she was surprised. she had strange silver/pink scratches on her breasts and stomach.

  
She ran her hand over them. they didn't hurt, but they looked like scars . she wasn't cut and she never noticed them before. She wondered if there was something wrong. she needed a doctor. She then realised the only one she could ask, the only one she could trust, was Alan.

  
She hesitated but knew he would help her.

  
__*  
It had been over an hour but she had not made much progress in her letter past 'dear Alan'.  
She tapped her pen and racked her brain on what to write.

  
"Dear Alan". She hoped by narrating her letter would get it finally done.

  
"I am sorry we parted on such bad terms, I know you were looking out for me, you always looked out for me. If you had not been concerned of my well being, I would have surely died at Lucile's hands."

  
She paused. she reliased he would blame Thomas too, but she was not going to acknowledge that.  
She coughed and cleared her throat to continue.

  
"Since Thomas' passing I have been living these past few weeks at Allerdale Hall. I have had the roof undergo repairs. I'm hoping in the next month it will be done and they will start on.."

  
She cringed and scribbled on the last few sentences and then scrunched up the page in frustration.

  
Edith wrote her into again. "..I have been quite poorly of late and was worried that I might have been inadvertently poisoning myself. I have stayed away from consuming anything from the tea containers, but have found I have been getting sicker and my body aches..." She then blushed as she realised she was about to write specifically how her breasts caused her discomfort.

  
She then shook her head at the notion that Alan would not take this professionally. "No.. he's a doctor. he would know of a woman's parts. that's why I'm writing to him.." she convinced herself.

  
She finished her letter and quickly sealed it up and wrote Alan's address on the envelope. She felt good now that it was sent. and she would only have to wait a couple of weeks for a response.

  
Edith smiled and set about planing the other repairs to the hall.

  
___*

  
Thomas had been working hard and was glad the day was over. this was a fine day. Summer was upon them and he wrapped a few chips of ice in a hanky and placed it to his brow.

  
The engineer approached him. "Thomas!" he came over with a smile. "You know how I started looking into your conviction.. well, you see I was careful with my wording. See I asked of any record of a prisoner named Thomas Sharpe. Well they said he was hung a couple of months ago and now buried in a potters field."

  
"What?"

  
"It means your dead mate." He offered.

  
Tom shook his head in disbelief. "What does that mean?"

  
"Means if Thomas Sharp is dead, then you must be some other guy." He patted his shoulder and Thomas stood in shock. "Means your free mate." he whispered.  
Thomas looked up at him then hugged him in joy.

  
the engineer patted him on the back and pushed him away. "Look, I think now all you need to do is pick a name for yourself and start living as a free man. but there is a problem.."

  
"Oh?" Thomas was worried that the man might turn him in.

  
"If you are working for me as a free man.. I will have to start paying you a wage!" he laughed. They laughed for a bit. "So, in all seriousness, what name you going to use these days?"

  
Tom smiled. "Cushing. I will be known as Thomas Cushing."

  
__*

  
Alan sat in his practice cleaning his tools. his last patient had left and it was now late in the afternoon. he now had time to catch up on his paperwork. it had been so much easier with Edith here. she did all his books and handled his correspondence.

  
He started to go through the pile of letters on his desk. he picked up a handful and began to stroll through the room as he flipped each one over to see who it was from. he stopped suddenly and all but one letter fell from his hands. he held it tightly in his fingers in disbelief. it was from Edith.

  
He snapped out of his shock and hastily opened it, eager to read her words.

  
"Dear Alan,  
I'm sorry for the way we parted, I know you care for me, you wouldn't have saved me if you didn't care.  
I know I have been stubborn and not written you sooner. I was punishing you for something that was not your fault.  
Since Thomas' death I have been living in Allerdale Hall. I have had the place under repair. But it has become apparent that I am ill. I do not know what has come over me and I respect your opinion as a physician and would kindly ask for the advice from a dear friend."

  
"Oh Edith.." he smiled and worried that she was not feeling well.

  
"..I do not understand what is affecting me as I have also noticed these strange lines on my skin, they look like claw marks, but I have not been scratched or hurt.   
I seem to be putting on weight but not eating more than usual. My body aches and I am sick more and more frequently..."

  
"Shit!" Alan gasped. "She's pregnant!"  
__* 


End file.
